Sickening C Diff
C diff runs like a river wide
Swallowing healthy bowels in large stride.
For me, C diff just makes me gag,
It smells like 10 rats dead in a bag.
So vomit I do, a bit in my throat
And try not to look seasick like on a boat.
My patient asks “What’s wrong with you nurse?”
And I simply smile and try to converse.
So C diff I hope this Vanco kills you
I’ll be first in line to wish you ‘Adieu!’
Why Nurses Hate Stool!
Please when you defecate in your bed
Keep it contained, don’t let it spread.
I mean, It’s not like you pooping flowers
It’s more like logs of terror from the butt of Bowser
More like a mudslide in Indonesia
It makes me hate Milk of Magnesia.
So avoid it I shall for Mario I am not
I’d much rather before a drug test, smoke pot.
For playing with stool is for the crazy patients,
Definitely not for men who want good female relations.
Ebola is Terrible
You are so very terrible Ebola
More annoying than my sore molar
My dream is that you don’t make my patients sick
Or I would be isolated faster than an ugly chick
C Diff Slain like a Dragon
Die, C diff die! You turn to shamble our patients.
Diarrhea and excoriation are your foundations.
To fight you like a Bleach Knight, we shall wash hands with delight
And die like a Dragon you will with a sword in you tight!
‘Huzzah! Huzzah!’ As one we all shouted,
Your death made immortal in great songs undoubted
C Diff’s Death Knell
C diff, C diff, like the scourge of the earth
You stick and you wait in your spore to give birth.
Undaunted by cleaners of regular variety
Only does bleach give you fear or anxiety.
Once born you are tough like hardy shoe leather,
And you cause diarrhea and ulcers together.
But beware C diff, your day is coming
When bleach flows as rain and your death knell starts thrumming.
So watch out for bleach wipes, it’s your devastation,
For then we can cry, ‘C diff is dead!’ with great jubilation!
C Diff Entering a Room
When you enter C Diff Isolation
Be sure to wear gown and gloves, it’s not a vacation.
Spreading C Diff causes diarrhea
For this, hand washing is the best idea.
Too Much Stool
Old people are fun to learn from and I love their laughter
However, they aren’t always fun to clean up after
With a toot and plop the bed is messy too much for a mop
It’s like a river. It never, stops.
When entering Contact Isolation gown up and glove
And when you exit wash your hands and scrub