Sickening C Diff
C diff runs like a river wide
Swallowing healthy bowels in large stride.
For me, C diff just makes me gag,
It smells like 10 rats dead in a bag.
So vomit I do, a bit in my throat
And try not to look seasick like on a boat.
My patient asks “What’s wrong with you nurse?”
And I simply smile and try to converse.
So C diff I hope this Vanco kills you
I’ll be first in line to wish you ‘Adieu!’
C Diff Slain like a Dragon
Die, C diff die! You turn to shamble our patients.
Diarrhea and excoriation are your foundations.
To fight you like a Bleach Knight, we shall wash hands with delight
And die like a Dragon you will with a sword in you tight!
‘Huzzah! Huzzah!’ As one we all shouted,
Your death made immortal in great songs undoubted
C Diff’s Death Knell
C diff, C diff, like the scourge of the earth
You stick and you wait in your spore to give birth.
Undaunted by cleaners of regular variety
Only does bleach give you fear or anxiety.
Once born you are tough like hardy shoe leather,
And you cause diarrhea and ulcers together.
But beware C diff, your day is coming
When bleach flows as rain and your death knell starts thrumming.
So watch out for bleach wipes, it’s your devastation,
For then we can cry, ‘C diff is dead!’ with great jubilation!
Just Go Already
Alright time to decide if you have to go or not.
I am not here to sit and watch you on the pot.
Please let it loose like Niagara Falls
Or get back to bed and stop with the calls!
Please, oh please don’t wet the bed
It’s such a pain, one all nurses dread
Use the bedpan or a urinal
Simply peeing the bed is just criminal
No Time to Micturate
Holy cow you need to wait,
I don’t have time for you to micturate.
So cross your legs or jump up and down,
Just please wait a second I’ll be around