Bed bugs are much like gum on my shoe Awful and ugly like old cold fondue. I wish I could kill them with mace or a knife Sadly they have a lengthy shelf life. They sit and they wait for darkness to set And spring on those unaware and upset. Like Tiggers from fairy tales they bounce all around And follow you swiftly like a trusty blood hound.
What lives we live as nurses Our many days off with fat full purses. To do that though we must be brave. We must daily pull on trousers and slave To clean all the poop from head to toe From Betty to George and John to Joe.
It’s not easy what we do everyday. Not a break do we get if something’s astray. “More coffee! More pills! My mom needs a bath!” Its with each morning we trudge this winding warpath. With smiles on faces and great counterparts We bravely enjoy this work in our hearts.
C diff runs like a river wide Swallowing healthy bowels in large stride. For me, C diff just makes me gag, It smells like 10 rats dead in a bag. So vomit I do, a bit in my throat And try not to look seasick like on a boat. My patient asks “What’s wrong with you nurse?” And I simply smile and try to converse. So C diff I hope this Vanco kills you I’ll be first in line to wish you ‘Adieu!’
Hey there FRIEND! You are terrible at putting on restraints You know, on the guy that ain’t acting like a jolly saint? So now he pulled out his central line and has blood flowing out like the river Rhine. What the heck!? How hard is it tying ONE knot? Its just a loop with a loose end that plops. I want to scream, its the end of my shift And now I have to deal with this rift! Next time, think before you leave the room, “What actions do I take so the nurse doesn’t fume?”
Please when you defecate in your bed Keep it contained, don’t let it spread. I mean, It’s not like you pooping flowers It’s more like logs of terror from the butt of Bowser More like a mudslide in Indonesia It makes me hate Milk of Magnesia. So avoid it I shall for Mario I am not I’d much rather before a drug test, smoke pot. For playing with stool is for the crazy patients, Definitely not for men who want good female relations.